How To Heal Emotional Wounds

Have you ever been dismissed as being “too emotional?” I think most women have, at one point or another. When we let our softer sides show, we are viewed by men as being less reliable and less effective as leaders, which is a patently false notion. The truth is, emotions are a wonderful thing. They are energy in motion, either positive or negative, but always powerful.

There is a theory around emotions and unhappiness that I heard the other day, and it has really resonated with me since then. You see, this theory says that unhappiness is ultimately determined by whether or not you are emotionally capable of accepting things for what they are. It sounds too simplistic, but I let that theory sit with me throughout the day.

What are some common reasons for unhappiness? Lack of money, relationship problems, desire for a better career. On a deeper level, we may be unhappy because of childhood traumas, grief or because we have been victimized in some way. I realized with some surprise that the theory held true – that all of these instances of unhappiness, both big and small, were caused by the gap between what was true and what we wished to be true. When you think about it, it even seems obvious. But what does it mean for those of us who seek true happiness?

We need to learn to accept what is true. Now, that doesn’t mean that we stop striving. It doesn’t mean that we stop working to achieve our goals. We still need to work hard, and we still need to apologize and right wrongs when the situation calls for it. But we need to learn to accept where we are right now as our current reality, and to take joy in it. Even if we’re striving towards something else, and even if acceptance of unfortunate realities takes time and effort. This is your life. Each day is too precious to be looking over your shoulder at the past.

Sometimes, the gap between what is true and what we wish were true is so great, we need the help of a trained counselor to reconcile that disparity within ourselves. We can’t find a way within ourselves to accept the death of a loved one, or the loss of our childhood. We simply don’t know how, and so we seek help. That is what strong women do.

While you work on accepting what is, both big and small, focus on being present in your daily life. Mindfulness can go a long way towards helping us to be happy in our daily lives, and to show us the sometimes surprising beauty available to us in each moment. Enjoy the feel of the wind in your hair, the sun on your face, the warmth and flavor of that first sip of your favorite hot beverage. As long as we are living and breathing, there is room for hope and gratitude in every moment of our lives. Allow yourself to recognize it in your journey.

small, focus on being present in your daily life. Mindfulness can go a long way towards helping us to be happy in our daily lives, and to show us the sometimes surprising beauty available to us in each moment. Enjoy the feel of the wind in your hair, the sun on your face, the warmth and flavor of that first sip of your favorite hot beverage. As long as we are living and breathing, there is room for hope and gratitude in every moment of our lives. Allow yourself to recognize it in your journey.